February 10, 2007

Concentrate With The Budget

Unless you are one of the fortunate people who have no worries about money, concerns about the budget are sure to occupy much of your energy and time.
The first thing you and your fiancé must decide on, therefore, is the wedding style that you will adopt. Will it be a formal, “en grande” wedding, or will it be informal and simple? Do you want an intimate gathering, or a very festive celebration? Your preferences will determine the amount of money that you need to prepare.

Once the wedding style has been decided, take time to answer the following questions:

1.
Which among the elements below are most important to you?
(Rank from 1 as top priority to 5 as bottom priority )

c Church/Ceremony
c Reception venue and program
c Cake and reception food
c Bride and Groom’s attire
c Entourage attire
c Hair, Makeup and Accessories
c Music
c Flowers and décor
c Photo and video
c Gifts for sponsors and giveaways
c Invitations, wedding announcements and thank-you notes
c Wedding planner / coordinator
c Travel and lodging expenses for you, the entourage and the guests
c Honeymoon
c Others, please specify: ___________________________

2. What elements/items can you possibly get for free?


List everything that comes to mind. For example, an aunt’s garden you can use as reception venue, or an uncle’s car, or a friend you can ask to be your wedding singer. It’s also becoming a trend for the principal sponsors and the members of the entourage to shoulder the costs of their attire.

3. Who are the people you can expect to contribute to your wedding fund?


You may include yourself and your fiancé so you get an idea of how much you will have. The following table can be filled out progressively, as you determine how much exactly the contributors are pledging.



Before taking the next steps, consider the following tips for making the most of your budget:

• Focus on you preferred theme – This is the mood or atmosphere you want to create. This way, you can take out necessary elements that will not contribute to your theme, thereby reducing your costs.


Choose the right wedding date, time, and venue – Rates may be higher in January, December and June, which are the peak months for weddings in the Philippines. Also, a dinner or lunch reception costs twice as much as breakfast reception, so you may wish to have an early morning wedding. Look at possible venues that you can get at a discount, or even for free.

Take advantage of connections – See what good buys, bargains, and discounts you can get by availing of the services of relatives, friends, and those suppliers whom you network of people can refer to you.

Check out several suppliers before committing to one – Do not be too excited; don’t make purchases of finalize deals without making price and quality comparisons.

Consider D.Y.I. (Do It Yourself) projects – Possible items include the wedding giveaways, gifts for the sponsors, invitations, thank-you notes and decors for the reception venue.

Be adventurous in exploring sources for your materials – Buying from department stores or through middlemen can cause you extra money, but you can save a lot if you explore Divisoria and Dimasalang!

If you are working with a coordinator, tell him or her how much your budget is – This way, she or he can help you look at options that are practical and realistic.

Include in your budget all the possible elements of the wedding – These cover everything from your marriage license, down to the waiters’ tips, reception crew food, seating cards and guest book!

Add in at least 10% more to your total budget – Allot a portion of your budget for unexpected expenses. This will also allow you some flexibility when working on the big and small details of your wedding.

Write down all your choices and record actual transactions made – If you fail to do these, you may end up losing track of your expenses, and have difficulty sticking to the budget that you have set.

February 5, 2007

Family Affair

For Filipinos, it is very important that our family has a big role in planning our “Wedding” it may be impolite to our parents if they are not given a significant part in the whole affair. We might consider the following conditions in preparing our wedding in order that our family may get a piece of the event’s scene.





1. Date of the event – we should determine the availability of our family. Like if your parents are working abroad, how much likely they can afford to go back home?



2. Budget – It is customary for Filipinos for the groom or his family to pay for all the wedding expenses. These days, however, expenses are usually shared by both the bride’s and the groom’s families.





3. Wedding Style – Most of Filipino Parents want their child to have a church wedding. However, it is perfectly acceptable if you and your partner prefer the more practical civil wedding. Very traditional and religious parents may be heartbroken by your decision, so be sensitive to their feelings when you discuss this matter with them.



Aside from the kind of ceremony, you also need to plan how big the wedding should be. Some parents may insist that you follow their preference. This can be a difficult situation, especially if they are shouldering the costs. You must strike a balance between not hurting their feelings and not allowing them to run your show. Discuss all aspects of the wedding, including which ones you and your fiancé are willing to compromise about and which ones you are not.





4. Primary Sponsors and Entourage – You and your fiancé’s parents may wish the numerous friends and community personalities to be in your lineup of primary sponsors. Relatives may also be competitively keen on making it to the list of secondary sponsors. Managing everyone’s expectations in this aspect of the wedding can turn out to be quite a challenge. Some piece of advice: 1) For Filipinos, the primary sponsors are called “ninong” and “ninang” –the couple’s godparents. Since they will play the role of counselors during your married life, it would be best to get people who are already close to you, and whose wisdom and character you respect. 2) Be cautious about getting politicians or famous personalities as your primary sponsors – unless you actually have a personal relationship with them. 3) Do not get someone as part of your entourage just to please your parents or relatives.

5. Suppliers – Everybody has connections, so expect a deluge of recommended suppliers. Your sister’s friend is a florist, his father’s friend’s son is a professional photographer, your third cousin and his uncle are both offering discounted printing services…the list of offers and recommendations can go on and on. Considering how sensitive Filipinos can be, you will also have to be careful and choose well when you make decisions and discuss your preference.





6. Invitees – This aspect of the wedding can become a major battleground unless you make rules before lists are drafted. Filipinos usually see a wedding as and opportunity for family reunion, so expect your parents to want even distant relatives to be there. Their friends, colleagues and business associates, as well as those o your siblings and relatives, can also threaten to balloon the number of your guests. One thing you can do is to specify the number of people that your parents and other family members are allowed to invite. If you prefer a small, intimate wedding, you will have to explain this is a way that will not offend them.










February 4, 2007

What if your fiancé isn’t the one?

During the pamanhikan, the engaged couple may discuss their tentative wedding plans with their parents.


The rest of your days as an engaged couple will be spent planning for your wedding and making preparations for married life – working on your savings, deciding where to live, going to premarital counseling. This will be a time of bonding between you and your ‘Fiancé’ as you take on your biggest project together. You will get to know each other that may or may not be pleasing to you.


Because of this, some couples actually discover during the engagement period that they are not meant to be together after all! Should this happen to you, here are some pieces of advise:


· Keep your composure.It is actually a blessing that you made this realization before it’s too late.








-Be polite. Avoid exchanging harsh words.
· If you decide to call off the engagement, return the engagement ring. If he calls it off, he has the option to either let you keep it or ask to have it back.
· Announce that the wedding will no longer take place, if the engagement has been announced and published.
· Keep your chin up, smile and move!

February 3, 2007

Prepare your Weds !

The wedding day may be the crucial day of your life. We must imagine somehow that it is the only day of your life, which a whole new life waiting for you once this event is over! Pinoy’s saying “Ang pag-aasawa ay hindi parang kaning isusubo’t iluluwa kapag napaso.” (Marriage is not like hot rice that you can put into your mouth and just spew out should it hurt your tongue.).We must be well prepared in all aspect & emotionally equipped for this kind of commitment.






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“Pinoy Customs ” Very traditional parents may ask their son to present a family heirloom as a present to his fiancé, possibly in lieu of the engagement ring. In such a case it is usually more meaningful to give it during the “pamanhikan”, as it also symbolizes the family’s acceptance of the girl.




Organizing for a wedding is usually a challenging one, especially for the bride-to-be who is customary the protagonist of it all. Some are preferred a simple ceremony for their wedding; some even hires ‘Wedding Planner ‘or Coordinator to do the presentation in their behalf. The impact of the solemn and well organized ceremony may correlate with the harmonious & prosperous future life that they might have in the next chapter of their lives .

February 2, 2007

Who’s the right person for me?

Let’s say you are well prepared to jump on the next chapter of your life, but how could you know than the man or woman whom you should say “I do” is the one really for you? Many differences that partners should be considered and talk about while you are preparing or thinking about happy marriage. Like, is it your partner ready too for lifetime commitment, how about if he/she’s considering keeping close family living with them during your marriage but you feel it’s best to live separately from them to build strong & independent family., you may have different attitude toward financial matters, or even you might wanted to start a big family while he/ she may even have different plan for it.





There’s a lot of differences occur before the marriage took place, but it may so advantageous for both partners, and can lead to long-term relationship. Anyway we are all exceptional human that your husband/wife-to-be does not have to be the same in everything. My friends say “Opposite attracts”, some says “Birds with same feather, flock together”. But whatever differences partners possess, the most important is; each one valued each other’s feelings, and you always feeling good when you spending time with your mate, and you are even seeing yourself growing old with your soul-mate, through good and bad times, through ups & downs. Thus, he or she, you can say, indeed is the one for you.

February 1, 2007

Prepare Yourself





To those planning of getting married, have you asked your self “am I ready for marriage?” How sure am I? “Am I emotionally, mentally, financially prepared for a big leap?” “Am I at the right age to do this” “How can I support my parents/siblings when I decided to do this”, “Is my career so stable to do the role of being breadwinner?” or “How can I concentrate on my careers and enjoy my nightlife or social affairs?








These are just few questions before you set your heart and mind for marriage. There are still thousands of question you might create when you are in this stage. This causes by different cultures & beliefs. In my next blog, I will try to help you to find conclusions or to convince our selves to think and feel that “I am really ready for it”.



But for now, these are few tips that an individual has a wrong way of marriage if they do it because: (1) they are pregnant or partners commit “violence” (hyperbole) in their parents’ eyes (2) their parents push them to get married (3) they want to run away their miserable life or (4) they are expecting something in return for having married with someone else.